Make yourself uncomfortable
French was my favourite subject at school, but even after 12 years of lessons, I was far from being fluent.
So, once school was over, I decided to go to Paris for six months with the aim of returning with a perfect command of the Romantic language.
Working in the customer relations department of a theme park, which didn’t quite meet every visitor’s expectations, meant that I spent most of those six months being shouted at in a very different style of French to the one that I’d become accustomed to in the friendly surroundings of a classroom. It turned out that ‘zut alors’ was not the most satisfying phrase available for venting your frustration; there are, it turned out, many alternatives. And the fact that I wasn’t adept enough with the language to be diplomatic in the early heated encounters meant that I’d often inadvertently make the situation much worse than it already was.
The stresses, strains and the sense that I was way out of my depth led me to want to throw in the towel after just a few weeks, to go to work in ticketing or at a fast food outlet, where good spoken French wasn’t necessary. It would have been a comfortable existence.
But a timely intervention by a colleague encouraged me to stick it out in ‘Acceuil’ despite how awkward and vulnerable I felt. And naturally, over time, my French improved and my confidence increased; a virtuous circle ensued.
It’s a rather long story to get to the very basic point that I wanted to make, which is this:
the fastest way to learn anything is by making yourself uncomfortable
For this reason, I also reckon that the more you put yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more things you’ll learn and eventually master.
You might not always have a particular lesson in mind. In other words, it’s worth putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation even if you have no clear and/or specific idea of what you might learn from it; I believe that if you’re observant enough, you’ll learn something.
I also think that it’s good to make other people feel uncomfortable. Not in a weird way, mind. But with the intention of helping them out with their problems/careers/lives.
For example, asking them awkward questions, saying something deliberately controversial or giving them a task that they’re likely to find difficult to complete because of an initial lack of know-how.
We should be comfortable with the idea of feeling uncomfortable.
Do you agree with me? If so, let me know your own tales. If not, why not?
Totally agree with you.
It seems to me that when people choose not to move beyond their comfort zones, they fail to grow. Its partly why people who’ve always worked in the same discipline – like advertising, pr, dm and the like – seem to resist new ways of working, new ideas.
Admittedly I would say that as I’ve been lucky enough to move between all three over the years, but each time I’ve been really energised (and a bit stressed mind) by the experience. You have to learn a new ‘language’ each time, new processes, new ways of seeing the World.
I think it hurts because its unfamiliar and frightening. And perhaps becauses it forces new synapses to connect (any decent scientist will probably ridicule that last one…)
PS Care to share any cool French swear words with us?
Really like this, Nick. Someone once told me that you never learn anything standing still and rightly or wrongly, I have a tendency to throw myself full pelt into the unknown and learning as I go along.
I went to Tokyo for a year when I graduated university to teach English. Why? Just because I fancied it. Could I speak Japanese? Did I know anyone in Tokyo? Did I have money saved? No to all of the above. Did I have an amazing time? Did I experience things I never would’ve without pushing myself outside my cultural comfort zone? Did I end up learning loads about myself? Yes, yes and yes.
Leo – Thanks very much for the comment. Like this (whether it’s true or not): “becauses it forces new synapses to connect”…There are plenty of cool French swear words…”enculer les mouches” is pretty good…
Lenise – Thanks for sharing. “I have a tendency to throw myself full pelt into the unknown and learning as I go along” – love it.
This is actually the story of the band that I’m in started (though a long time ago before I was in it!). Everyone started by playing instruments that weren’t their own, out of necessity really – lack of a drummer, lack of a bassist, too many guitarists! You can definitely hear that sense of awkwardness combined with off-the-wall creativity in early Mules music – there’s an old interview where Ed is quoted as saying “You’re forcing people to do something they’re not used to do and once you put them out of their element, they produce more interesting things”. I think he’s completely right. Though now they’re all too damn good at their instruments to feel uncomfortable!
http://www.organgrinderrecords.com/press.cfm?pressID=50&list=int
Absolutely spot on. The MA I studied/ tutored on is all about getting out of your comfort zone. You learn very little if you’re not challenged/ challenging yourself.
That butterflies feeling in the belly? Those little sweats before a pitch? Magic.
It’s what we should live for. Challenging ourselves every day. Every time you challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone you learn something new. Every day you don’t get those butterflies you stand still. And the cliche is if you stand still you go backwards…
here’s a diagram i mocked up from a story a former mentor taught me. http://www.flickr.com/photos/windo/3546779177/
totally agree w/you on the idea that most of our learning comes from putting ourselves out there in uncomfortable situations.
in surfing, i’ll push myself occasionally to get out of the cozy confines of riding gentle sloping, predictable reef breaks and try our shifty, fast, beach breaks. the difference in the two type of beach situations will call upon different timing and reflexes to ride those waves well. in time, i’ve gotten more confident in my fast, wedgy beach break conditions and therefore i’ve increased my comfort zone. then on days when it’s just insanely nuts, i find myself in the panic zone and really only focus on staying alive instead of catching waves. not very fun.
Nick,
Je viens de lire ton post et j ai beaucoup ri!
En esperant que tu en ecrives d autres des comme ca
Hey Nick, came across your blog today at a very timely point in my life. Just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences! Very inspiring story that gives courage to all of us who are facing their own feelings of discomfort. Do you think there is such thing as too much discomfort? Glad to hear that you are doing well – good on you!